


Hold On To The Words You Spoke (Anchored Down In The Throat)

by justletmegohome



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Comeplay, Established Relationship, Fingering, Fluff, Kink Negotiation, Light Bondage, M/M, Porn With Plot, Rimming, Spanking, bits of angst???, gagging, i almost forgot that, i guess, i guess u could call it plot if you blink enough times, there's lots of that, they're naked the entire fic tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 22:19:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1915971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justletmegohome/pseuds/justletmegohome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"No, no. Louis, just stop. It's not stupid, it's never stupid. Believe it or not, I care. I care so much. Do you honestly think I'd still have my dick in your ass if I didn't?"</p><p>Louis chuckles at that, but it's sad, Harry notes it's not right. "That will change when I tell you."</p><p>"Never." Harry kisses every bit of his face he can reach, he has no idea how that can help but he's going to do it anyways. </p><p>"I don't like the way I sound. 'S all," Louis says in one breath, going coy as soon as he's done speaking, his eyes casting downwards.</p><p>For a moment, Harry can't believe his ears. Or the words Louis just said even if he can see them hanging in the air between them. Harry is not even sure if he listened  He doesn't want to believe them, maybe that's why he's having a hard time coming up with his own words.</p><p>*** Basically, Louis is loud. And then he isn't. Harry ties him up to find out why. ***</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold On To The Words You Spoke (Anchored Down In The Throat)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flashdash411](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flashdash411/gifts).



> first of all: i'd really like to thank [Ren](http://loaded-gunn.tumblr.com/), [Sarah](http://fangirlingthishardcouldbreakahip.tumblr.com) and [Carly](http://rimmingprincess.tumblr.com) for being absolute angels with me and helping me out so much. you made this fic a thousand times better and i'd be completely lost without the three of you. thank you so much for taking the time to beta and say nice things to me. i owe beyonce a massive thank you as well because her album gave me strength and she's amazing.
> 
> to flashdash411: YOUR PROMPT TOOK OVER ME I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BUT I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE IT BECAUSE I HAD SO MUCH FUN AND I ALSO HOPE YOU HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE THIS SUMMER.

Harry sighs heavily as he crosses his arms in front of his chest and watches Louis mope on the couch, hiding under their duvet with his lips set in an adorable pout and his eyebrows drawn in an even cuter frown. Of course, Harry’s opinion is biased in the cheesiest way possible; he has those eyebrows tattooed on his chest. It's probably not meant to be cute, but it's _Louis_ so it doesn't really matter. (The fact that he refuses to wear his own clothes instead of Harry's jumper and absolutely _nothing else_ is not helping Harry).

What really matters is that something is bothering him and Harry has no way of doing anything about it yet-- Louis' at that stage of sulking where he refuses to admit he’s mad and pretends that Harry doesn’t know him well enough to figure out he’s just trying to ignore his problems until they go away on their own. Harry doesn’t take it as an insult anymore, he just sees it as an opportunity to give Louis impromptu blowjobs to cheer him up. The charm of amazing orgasms usually lasts two days, until Louis gets annoyed and snaps at Harry's concerned passive-aggressive comments. Then Harry will push him to talk, Louis will yell about Harry being an ass until his voice goes out and then there's make-up sex on whatever surface is closest and Louis feels sated enough to whisper a sorry into Harry's collarbones and discuss what's wrong. When Harry's upset he drives and drives and turns off his phone even though Louis hates that he can't reach him. He drives with his music blasting out until he’s out of fuel and his ears go a bit numb, then he writes sad songs in the middle of tiny villages that remind him of the one where he grew up. Once it gets dark he calls for Louis to pick him up.

They'll probably fight about the way the they fight for the rest of their lives. Harry is a little thrilled about it (mostly for the part where he gets Louis for the rest of their lives).

Still, he walks towards Louis and sits by his side quietly, patiently waiting for him to lean against Harry's chest like he always does, just to fit perfectly under the crook of his arm. It never fails to do the trick of making him give into Harry so that when they’re snuggling Louis seems to be smaller than what he already is and Harry's heart receives fierce jolts of protectiveness. Louis can only look up to talk to Harry and a part of him moves instinctively to draw his boy closer even when there’s no space left.

Louis taps two fingers on Harry's jaw to call for his attention. "Hi,” he whispers, his breath warming Harry.

Harry smiles secretly into Louis' temple, pretty sure he's bound to be slapped as soon as the word leaves him. "Oops."

Louis groans and pushes him away. The bright light radiating from the mute TV is creating shadows on the the grin he wants to hide. "You're disgusting,“ he says mid-giggle.

"Nah, I think I'm pretty cute," Harry replies as he crowds Louis on the corner of the couch, his little body immediately going lax under his touch. Harry takes the opportunity to settle on top of him and frame Louis' surprised face between the palms of his hands. "At least that's what I heard," he adds with an eskimo kiss just because he can and Louis' nose is the loveliest thing he's ever seen. The duvet slides off so Harry fits himself between Louis' strong thighs.

Even that doesn't stop Louis from narrowing his tired eyes at him. "Lies! It's all lies, who would tell you such thing!" His legs tangle around Harry's waist. Every move soothes some kind of ache he never notices until they're touching properly.

"I think it was this little guy, can't really remember his name... Lewis? Luke? Yeah, anyways, met him like ages ago when I peed on him and he said I was cute." Harry thinks his voice is serious but he's doing a terrible job of it since Louis can barely hold in his laugh. He's not complaining, having Louis Tomlinson pinned down and laughing because of him has to be one of the best things Harry's ever done. "To be honest, he was stunning, so it may have gone to my head a bit or something."

Louis shakes his head and tweaks Harry's ear. "Well, we can't have you believing those kind of things, Harry. You are a diva as it is. Why don't you shut up and let me go back to my show, yeah?" He doesn't mean one bit of it. It's like he hasn't even said anything as his arms sneak around Harry's neck and his fingers twist playfully around the long curls behind his ears.

It's a challenge. Harry knows him and it's a challenge he's very thrilled to take, fully aware that he is going to end up with a sore throat and a cuddly Louis. Harry's life is awesome. That’s why he grinds down on Louis, because his life is awesome and that’s the type of stuff he can get away with. “Shut me up then.”

But maybe that's not what Louis had in mind. His eyes dim, his hands lose their tight grip. He sighs like there’s a heaviness sitting between his ribcage and his heart, which shakes Harry’s confidence a little. “I’m a bit tired.”

“Are you feeling poorly?” He asks in concern, lips pressed to Louis’neck, nipping anywhere he can without moving too much. He's quite comfortable here.

“No, baby, don’t think so.” Louis whispers to the shell of his ear, although the words don't sound entirely convincing.

"You sure?"

Louis just nods and his whole body twitches when Harry sits back with Louis' legs luring him in. Harry sneaks his hands under the large jumper, where the fabric just about covers the beginning of his thighs.

Harry hums gently, feels the need to keep everything hushed so Louis stays pliant. His chest is starting to heave. "I can make you feel better. If you want to."

The response takes a while to come. They've done this enough times to know Louis won't give up easily. He'll cling to whatever is wrong as much as possible until it grows too big and bursts out of him. It's not ideal, Harry knows it. He plants a kiss on Louis' calf to bring him back.

Louis rolls his eyes and his Harry smile gives him away. (Niall calls it that, claims Harry even has a matching one, because tattoos are apparently not enough for them.) "Guess you could try."

Harry giggles, ducking his head and grinning eagerly. He's like an excitable puppy when it comes to pleasing Louis, simply for the rush that takes over him as he works hard to earn the littlest praise he can squeeze out of him. He's conscious of how every move is meant just to be _good, good for Louis._ It's a win-win situation, Harry thinks, if both of them get mind-blowing orgasms out of it. The joys of almost-married life.

"I'm going to rock your world, Tomlinson." Harry scoots down, feels his sock covered feet touch the other side of their couch. His field of vision narrows everything down to the boy laid out for him.

One of the many wonders of Louis Tomlinson is how easy it is to rile him up. He's impatient as fuck, won't tolerate Harry teasing him for too long (unless Harry is eating him out. Fair enough, really). His thighs are so very sensitive-- they will tremble as soon as Harry's lips and teeth tug the thin skin. If Harry plays his cards right Louis will release the prettiest gasps once he's covered in bruises.

So yeah, that's the plan. It's a good one.

Louis opens his mouth, probably to tell him he's an ass, but Harry doesn't let him, launches his torso onto Louis and presses their mouths together, feels Louis' breath hitch in surprise on his lips but they still fit like lock and key, or something equally cheesy. There's a groan between them that is swallowed as Louis recovers, gives as much as he's taking. Louis’ tongue opens up Harry’s pillowy lips and sneaks in, no teasing, just goes for it. Harry's knees wobble-- he's always been weak for Louis' tongue. His elegant, deft fingers trail down his back before they yank up the bottom of Harry's shirt.

All Harry wants is for Louis to melt in his hands. His large palms find purchase on his bare ass and squeeze hard. Louis' teeth nip Harry's lip to warn him and there's a little pinch on his hip. Harry isn’t interested in his ass right now (well,he’s always interested in it, it’s just that right now his ass is not part of the plan) so he hauls off, leaves Louis blinking blearily and rutting back and forth with a confused frown. He is a sight like this, worked up just from kissing; his stormy eyes daring Harry to mess him up. Apparently, Harry is doing a good job; he can feel Louis' cock filling up against the rough denim of his jeans. It reminds him of how much he wants to feel it in his mouth. Admittedly he _loves_ to touch Louis and watch how his big hands reduce him to nothing more than a panting jumble of nerves, but sometimes he _needs_ to feel the heavy weight of Louis growing on his tongue and the taste of his dickhead tickling the roof of his mouth. The possibility of Harry getting choked.

Louis scowls. "Can you at least take your shirt off." It's not a question. He bears down on Harry's palms and tries to hold in a sigh.

"I don't know. Can I?" His thumbs start drawing circles, the pads of his fingertips trace Louis' hole and a little shudder overcomes him.

"Yeah, yeah you can," Louis decides in a raspy voice while looking away.

(If Harry were really paying attention he would have noticed something was _really truly_ off right away. Louis never looks away when they're like this, both of them struggling to give up control, deciding who's going to let go. Louis will look him straight in the eyes and won't stop unless Harry makes him come or he makes Harry come. He's looking away now and Harry doesn't realize it because there's tender hot flesh at his mercy and his dick is starting to blur the edges of what he can see.)

Harry peels the shirt off his chest and misses the first sign that should tell him what’s wrong, because he pushes up the jumper blocking him from Louis' half hard cock. Harry's head dives down to the tanned belly rising and falling quickly as Louis breathes. It feels like a little sun lives in Louis, glowing for Harry and warming him up when he kisses his way down, touches him like his ankles are a piece of art and adores him with loving eyes.

"Haz- baby, c'mon," Louis moans, making Harry look up to find that his eyes are screwed shut. The neck of the thick jumper is slipping off his little shoulders and his collarbones are the dictionary’s definition of delicious.

Harry wants to fuck him up. "You're so lovely, Lou. Got such a lovely cock," he purrs out in an exhale. He can't help but give it a small lick, just the head, and it stiffens immediately. "Wanna have you in me all the time."

"Give me your mouth, c'mon," Louis grits out, one of his hands clutching his own hair, all messy and tousled,  the other urges the back of Harry's head down.

It was all the encouragement Harry needed to fit as much of Louis as he can in one go. Louis curses under his breath and it only serves to egg Harry on. He sucks in and lets his tongue graze the slit until Louis can't stop whimpering below him. He pulls off slowly, dragging his lips, savouring every inch and plunging back down. He never allows Louis to slip out, bracing himself on Louis' thighs to stop him from moving too much. Harry makes sure it's messy enough so Louis feels the wetness drip down, licking it all up again when he gets to the base. Louis is hissing as Harry reluctantly realizes he needs air again and lets his cock slap against his belly. Turns out Harry doesn't need air as much as he needs Louis in him; after only a moment he laps up Louis' balls before sucking him in again. Just bobbing his head and putting most of his efforts on the slit is enough for Louis' chest the heave. Every time he tries to exhale he whines out like he can barely handle it, and it's all very addictive. Having Louis coming undone and knowing he's the only one allowed to have that effect on him will never wear out.

Harry realizes halfway through that Louis is being too quiet for his liking. After all, he _is_ giving all he has into this blowjob and yeah, okay, Harry zones out more often than not and maybe he didn't catch Louis talking, but there's a fully hard, thick cock that belongs to one of the most gorgeous humans Harry has ever seen and said cock is in his mouth. It’s not his fault he gets too distracted by it to notice Louis is not being loud, well, not like he usually is. Louis is still moaning and bucking up, shoving Harry down and looking at him like he's the 9th wonder of the world. His jaw is slack but he's not talking to him, he's not telling him how much he loves Harry's lips around his dick or how good he makes Louis feel or how he just wants to fuck Harry's throat raw so everyone knows he loves it when Louis comes on his lips.

It's, it's not weird--Harry _knows_ what to do when Louis is quiet, it means that he wants Harry to try harder, do better--but, well, he didn't know they were going to be like _this_. He only acts this way when they play. And Louis didn't seem in the mood todom him, it was supposed to be just a good ol’, regular blowjob so he could let go and surrender for a while.

Nevertheless, Harry is always up for it so it doesn't really matter. He brings one of his hands up to trace Louis' torso. His nipples are perky and hard for him, and he flicks one with his thumbnail. Harry knows how to get what he wants and Louis knows how to give it to him and Harry is going to take full advantage of it.

Louis lifts his head up quickly and grabs his wrist, his bitten nails digging into Harry's pulse point. "Bad idea, love," he says brokenly but he's smirking, as if he's not actually shaking like a leaf.

Harry smiles as much as he can, which only serves to drive Louis deeper into his throat while his other hand keeps Harry's head still. It's really, really easy to rile Louis up, especially when Harry's eyes are starting to water, and he's doing his best to breathe calmly through his nose and accommodate Louis.

"Fuck, you really wants this. Wanna be good for me?" Louis asks, petting the hair on Harry's nape gently.

Harry nods and chokes, trying to move away but Louis pins him down in place. It's getting heavy, the need to make him say what Harry wants to hear as Louis gives him a little bit of space to breathe again.

"You're not even touching yourself, Harry, fucking hell." It sounds like it pains him to see Harry like that, which, huh, right, his own dick is beginning to hurt a bit actually, but Harry will survive. What he _can't_ take is Louis' blue blown eyes and the way his cheeks are turning into the same pretty pink shade of his lips. He's a fucking vision. Harry is going to write 100 songs about his face. He's going to record a whole album dedicated to Louis' face, it's the least he can do.

His jaw is aching now, and Louis must notice because his hand moves to caress Harry's cheek. With a mesmerized look, he pokes where his dick bulges from inside and practically worships Harry's face with his eyes but he's _still_ fucking holding back. It's ridiculous. Harry can see him biting his tongue so he's done playing nice. Harry is going to bring out his blowing super powers and Louis is going to scream and then they're going to cuddle and kiss and talk about feelings whether Louis likes it or not.

Taking advantage of Louis letting go of his hair, Harry slurps off his cock, just not completely. He wraps his lips and teases around the head, sucking and licking it up. Louis starts leaking right away, the suction focused on where he's most sensitive driving him too far, too fast.

"Shit, Harry. Fuck yeah, baby, that's so good _fuck,_ Ha-" Louis might be going a little crazy. His gasps sound like heaven to Harry. Music to his ears, all that sappy shit that make Harry’s bones shake and the beating of his heart match the speed of a hummingbird’s wings.

He's getting louder and louder, whining out a jumbled combination of Harry's name, variations of _fuck_ and pet names because he loses his brain-to-mouth filter. _This_ is the Louis Harry adores to get off, won't shut up unless Harry puts his fingers in his mouth, and even then he tries to moan as loud as possible for Harry. His Louis knows how to talk dirty. When they were first trying out kinks and learning each other’s bodies, he once made Harry come merely by whispering the filthiest things Harry had ever heard--didn't even touch him. The discovery lead to very dreadful promo weeks and concert nights where Louis was dead set on making him come in public. And it did happen. _Twice_. At Zayn's place during a barbeque, in his precious graffiti room, leading to Zayn locking every single room in his house when they visit. But the love radiating from Louis' face was so worth it. He was so proud of Harry and wouldn't stop touching him for the next three days, wouldn't stop telling him how much he loved him and how pretty he was when he came for him. It's all a bit of a blur to be honest, but Harry still shudders when he remembers. That's probably why he's rubbing his cock on Louis' bare thigh and he'll probably come in his favorite jeans and ruin them and Harry couldn't be less bothered about it.

"Love it so much, love you so much," Louis rasps out as Harry quickly jerks the rest of his dick since he’s only sucking the tip, his skin unbearably hot under Harry's palms and his fringe sticking to his forehead. "So fucking amazing at sucking me off, babe. You always look amazing."

Ah, there we go, that's what Harry needed. It makes him peer up to find Louis looking so divine. Harry wishes there was a way to tell him without letting him go. He can suck harder, though. Have Louis throbbing and shaking inside him.

"H. H, Harry let me-- _god_ \--on your face. Let me come on your face." Louis pulls himself out with a wet pop and taps the head on Harry's lips before he's coming, crying out weakly because he's so determined to keep his eyes open and watch his little drops of come reach Harry's cheekbones, all red and splotchy. His chin is a mess too. Louis is straining his neck to see and when he seems content enough, something that sounds like a combination of groan and a sigh leaves his lungs. "I love you so much," he whispers hoarsely, so it sounds like he's the one that had a dick down his throat. Harry did a good job.

Grinning, Harry crawls up Louis and settles between him and the cushions of the couch. Louis is gaping at him. "What? Have I got something on my face?"

"Yeah, a load of my spunk all over it," he says, unimpressed, and picks up Harry's shirt. "Clean up, wanna kiss your stupid face."

Harry rolls his eyes. "It's not like you haven't eaten it out of my ass, Lou."

Louis laughs loudly. "Oh my god, you're horrible. I have no idea of how people buy your cherubic act."

"'S the curls, secret weapon and all that." Harry still cleans up, he doesn't really fancy tacky come on his skin. Not right now, anyways.

"What am I going to do with you," Louis replies with fondness.

Harry wiggles his eyebrows. "Make me come, hopefully."

Once Louis jerks him off and cleans Harry's come with his tongue, making Harry whine weakly, they go back to whatever the fuck Louis was watching. Harry is nosing his neck, laying down with Louis wrapped securely in his arms when he remembers why they are doing this. "Hey Lou."

He hums in acknowledgement, all soft and sleepy now. It won't be long before Harry has a little pile of warm squishy limbs trying to kick him unconsciously.

"We should talk about what's bothering you."

Louis sighs, Harry can feel the little puff of breath being torn off him. This has to be the best part of being the big spoon. Not that there are downsides, but. "Don't worry, love. It's nothing."

"Still think we should talk about it," Harry mumbles and considers investing all of their money into finding out a way for him to keep Louis as close as humanly possible. Science should be working on that.

"Later, yeah?" Louis’ eyelashes fan over his cheekbones and Harry doesn’t find the strenght to keep asking.

There’s not really a later. Or a chance for one. Harry falls asleep begrudgingly a couple of minutes after Louis, if only because he hates being left alone with his thoughts when he’s worried. Maybe that was for the best, even though he doesn’t get much sleep because Louis is a little shit and demands in the cutest way possible to be carried and tucked in their bed. They make it there in one piece by some strange miracle, no bumping Louis’ head on the walls or Harry tripping on the stairs. Louis smiles at him like Harry just discovered all the good things in the world and kisses him softly until both of them are out like a light.

***

“Harry. Harry. Hazza,” Louis is shouting. It’s too early for shouting. At least it sounds like shouting, Harry's ears are sensitive when he's just waking up. Louis likes to exploit that. Louis is mean.

He's just about to hide under his pillow but Louis takes it away. “Stop,” Harry protests weakly, he needs his pillow, Harry misses his pillow so much.

“I will pour water on you, you know I will.” Louis is sitting on his chest. That’s not very nice of him.

“You’re not very nice,” Harry grumbles although he can barely get a word out. His throat is so scratchy. There was a dick there like twelve hours ago, not _sandpaper_ , he hates it. But not enough to stop deep throating Louis. He loves it.

Louis laughs quietly above him. That sounds like the gates of heaven opening up or summat. “Sorry love, but I don’t really care.”

Harry groans, drawing it out to prove just how tired he is and how Louis is the dork in this relationship, not him. The only reason he truly stops is to open his eyes and see his favorite view ever, which is basically Louis in any shape or form, but right now Louis is beaming down at him, so _this_ is his favorite. He’s the worst, he makes Harry’s life so difficult. “You suck so much, Lou.”

“That’s exactly what I was trying to do, sweetheart. You always know what’s on my mind.” He leans down to kiss Harry’s nose, looking like a proper lunatic. “Plus, I needed you awake. Can’t do much when you’re snoring like a bloody dragon.”

Harry snorts. “Since when does that stop you? You woke me up by sitting on my face in my childhood bed the last time we went home.”

Louis gives him alook and purses his lips. He looks so hot it should be illegal. Harry is not even fully awake, but he can appreciate the Greek god with rumpled hair and soft smile he’s lucky enough to see every morning. In like, real life. Touch him and everything. If Harry weren’t so madly and irrevocably in love with him, he’d hate him. Not really. Actually no. There can’t be a place where Harry is not head over heels for Louis. “Why do you always have to bring our asses into every conversation I attempt to have with you?”

“They’re good asses, we should talk about them more often.”

“You make no sense in the mornings, Hazza.” Louis' voice is so doting Harry knows that if they were cartoons, there would be hearts filling up their room until they suffocated and died. It's romantic.

“Your face doesn’t make sense in the morning either, but you don’t hear me commenting about it, do you?” Harry drawls out.

"Rude." Louis rolls his eyes (the first time of many today, probably) and tickles Harry’s ribs like the menace he is. Which is _so_ not fair. Harry can’t defend himself because Louis' thick and delicious thighs are pinning him down and Louis’ smile is making his eyes do the thing and if they fall down again Harry will be very happy since Louis has a knack for fucking him on the floor. And Harry _adores_ to be fucked on the floor.

Sadly they don’t fall down. Harry accidentally pokes Louis’ eye when he's flailing his arms around trying to escape and coos more than strictly necessary at the watering blue eyes glaring at him, but that's not his fault. Louis _knows_ how to work his pout. Plunking Louis down between his legs and kissing his eye better, they sit there in bed smiling at each other like knobs, legs tangled and soft white sheets keeping them warm.

There are so many things Harry has to share with the world, so many parts of himself he gives away without noticing or others he really wants to keep until it's too late. Although he's getting better at protecting what's really important and not stressing over what people will make of what he puts out, it's moments when they're like this--Louis soaking up the light coming through their curtains, looking like he belongs right there to be admired from afar and Harry wondering for the thousandth time if his grin is brighter than when the sun rises--that Harry is so glad he's the only one allowed to see and feel this. This part is only for him and Louis to share together, do whatever they want and say whatever they please and Harry couldn't care less because _this_ is theirs.

“We disgust me so much. We’re so disgusting,” Louis says as he traces the birds on Harry's chest, sighing happily.

“So very gross,” Harry agrees and kisses him one last time before getting out of bed. They need to get started on breakfast soon or Louis will be grumpy. Shower too, but maybe after yoga, Louis won't mind. If Harry plays his cards right he might even get Louis in his yoga pants to join him. He should probably take advantage of the fact that they’re both naked right now.

Louis pulls him back though, grips his hand tightly and looks up at him with shiny eyes. “Wait, wait. I wanted to ask you something,” he says earnestly.

Harry frowns. “We promised Liam there would be no more proposals this month, Lou. If Niall keeps winning all the bets, he’s going to end up poor and living outside Funky Buddha, or worse, our doorstep.”

“No! I’m not proposing to you again, dork, I -”

“Why not? I’d do it again even if Liam loses everything and Niall is named king of Ireland.”

Louis flops face down on the mattress. It’s a bit dramatic. “ThisiswhyIhateyou.”

Kneeling down and resting his head right next to Louis’, Harry kisses his hair with a smile. “Replay.”

Louis sniggers and rolls on his back, trying to smother his laugh behind his hand. Harry once convinced Lux that every time Louis does that a baby pixie is born. The next time they babysat her, Lux spent the entire time doing ridiculous things to make Louis laugh. Harry almost died of cuteness overload. “This is why I hate you,” he clarifies.

Well, if you ask Harry, he looks very much in love with him, but ok.

Nodding solemnly, he replies, “It’s mutual, then," and nudges him afterwards. “What did you want to ask me?”

(Harry should be paying attention here, too. Louis is not rushing out of the door to get some air and disappear to Zayn’s for two days claiming that they’re going to workon the new album. He’s staying home with Harry because he wants to talk about what’s bothering him. It’s not the first time this is happening, they can be very mature when they want to, but what follows is what should keep Harry on his toes. Read Louis the only way he knows how to make sure it plays out well, whatever Louis is trying to do.)

When Louis speaks, it comes out in such a rush Harry feels like he’s being flooded up to his ears. “I want you to gag me.”

That punches the air out of his lungs, for sure. Harry just blinks.

Louis chuckles nervously but reaches out to pet his cheek anyways. His fingers are shaking when they touch him. “You look like a surprised fish, babe.”

That’s fair. Fair comment. Yeah. Fair enough. “I- A little, I’m a little surprised.” Harry’s brain might be shorting out, but he must be exaggerating.

“Haz. It’s not like I’m asking you to flog me.”

Shit, that's. What a nice image. Louis sure knows how to reassure him. It's a miracle Harry's tongue doesn't roll out of his mouth and he's able to reply. “No, no, I know, I just. If I gag you, how are you supposed to tell me what to do? Like, I know how you do it but.”

Louis purses his mouth, his hand strokes down to Harry’s lips where he thumbs over them. “We can go with the flow? See where it lead us yeah? And how you feel about it. Maybe when you do it, it won’t be the same as when I do it. Or we both hate it,” A sigh interrupts him and he meets Harry’s gaze. “If I plan things out first it, I can stay focused on them. And your reactions are always helpful, make everything better. I try to keep your limits in my mind too, so I know when to back off.”

Harry barely manages to nod. “I don’t want to choke you, or anything like that. That’s my limit. I’m not quite there yet. And I know you can’t really walk me through gagging you but if you just let me know what you want first, I think that would be nice.” He gets a comforting kiss in return when he’s done talking.

Louis has had ice up his ass while he was tied up to a four poster bed. This is really not an odd request, they’ve done far more interesting stuff than gagging. The issue here is that Louis would normally drop hints when he wants to try something, leave their laptop open with porn playing in the middle of the living room. He even prints out stuff and reads it before going to bed, making sure to fluster anyone within hearing range about his plans that obviously involve Harry as they try to learn about that sort of thing. Sure, most of the time they try new things on Harry because Louis gets off on Harry whining and squirming and Harry gets off on Louis getting off. Plus, gagging is not exactly something out of their depth. They did the research necessary when they started to test out the waters. It’s just… unexpected? Louis never expressed any desire to be gagged, that's what catches Harry off guard. He shouldn’t be letting his nerves getting to him.

Louis sits up slowly, scanning Harry carefully. “We don’t have to do it if you don’t feel like it. I just felt a little curious about it. That’s all.”

“Curious?” Harry asks skeptically, and Louis nods before he finishes the word. The last time he gagged Harry was in South America because Niall wouldn’t shut up about his beauty sleep and Louis didn't like their incredibly thin walls getting banged when he was trying very hard to concentrate on bruising Harry's hips and ferns and making him come from just that. It’s been a while, actually. “You’ve been gagging me since I was 17, Lou. And only now you’ve felt curious about it?”

"Always been curious about it, just not enough to bring it up." His pretty thin lips twist into a frown. “Wanna know what it feels like.”

“With the ball gag?” Harry jumps back in bed. Looks like they’ll stay here for the rest of the day. There's cubed fruit in their mini-fridge under Louis' night table, they'll get by with that.

“Uh. I was thinking maybe your scarfs? The McQueen ones I got you?” He says with a sly smile, knows he’s getting his way already.

It comforts Harry a bit. It’s a way of knowing he’s doing good before they start. Start what, Harry doesn’t know yet, but if Louis is confident in it, Harry is sure that it will turn out alright and he'll laugh his worries off by the next morning. "Okay, we can work with that. We can do that."

"Only if you want to," Louis reminds him quietly and when he holds Harry's hand their tattoos line up.The anchor and rope facing up and in the place where they belong, where they're meant to be.

The sight settles Harry down, clears his head. "Of course I do. I'm just trying to figure out how to, I don't know, do it."

"Harry, hey. Look at me." He ducks his head down to catch Harry's eyes, he even crosses his eyes and does the monkey face to see him smile. "You're making this a big deal, baby. It's okay. The only thing you have to do is be good for me and you're great at that, aren't you? You're so wonderful. Don't worry. You know how to be good.”

Harry does know how to be good. He’s ace at that. If there was a degree in that and he didn’t ditch school, he’d be the only one to graduate at being good for Louis. With flying colors and honors and everything. “Alright then.”

Louis does his silly smile, the one he can hardly keep fromsplitting his face in two, and kisses Harry breathlessly. He’s such a great kisser. Back when they were starting to realize that snogging the living daylights out of each other in a tiny bunk bed at the risk of anyone walking in on them wasn’t going to be enough, Louis somehow developed these superpowers that can make Harry disconnect from everything but the feeling of Louis pressed up against him, so close he can feel the fluttering of Louis’ heart punching against his ribcage. It never grows old, this feeling. Harry will never be tired of Louis’ skill to take him apart into pieces by just kissing him like that’s the only thing he wants to do.

Harry likes to believe that’s why he doesn’t mind Louis pushing him back on their bed and perching his lovely ass on Harry’s lap. He catches the sound of their skin slapping together and it's suddenly too hot for him, even though he’s naked and the fan on the ceiling is spinning. Harry didn’t even know his hands were already searching for Louis, had already found the small of his back with his fingers clinging and digging into the flesh. It didn't stop him from feeling an itch under his nails for more because he is spoiled and knows what it's like to be inside him. Louis is no better, he’s hardening between their stomachs slowly but surely. It snaps something in Harry, he is suddenly so aware of every inch of their bodies touching. Louis’ knees wedged with Harry’s ribs, his collarbones driven into Louis’ fingers, forearms and thighs align, Louis’ toes tickling his legs. It’s pretty overwhelming how completely encompassed he is by this boy who actually agreed to spend the rest of his life with Harry.

Louis' breathing turns into a hitched rhythm and Harry's heart tries to catch up with it. Louis thrusts back into Harry’s hands, grunting as he slides down his body and reaches behind himself, grabbing a hold of Harry’s cock with a firm squeeze on the base. Harry is so hard by now, Louis could snap his fingers and Harry would be ready without fail. Their lips detach once Louis starts to rub the smooth, leaking head on his wet hole. _Fuck. Wet. He’s wet and open._

Harry gasps but fights the overcoming urge to stretch his head back, needs to have his eyes on Louis. “Lou--fuck. I wanted to prep you.” He was wrong to think it was hot and when they were just kissing, that was just the beginning. Harry’s blood is boiling in his veins, their shared heat is scorching and Louis won’t fucking _stop_.

Keeping Harry in place, his free hand works two fingers on kneading the tip of Harry’s dick. “Couldn’t wait. Takes you ages,” Louis says breathlessly just from pressing down on him. He is not sure who Louis is trying to tease more, himself or Harry. Not like it matters, he's driving both of them crazy.

Harry is not even sure if he cares, he just wants the lube and to fuck the impatience out of Louis.

(So what if he takes ages to finger Louis open? He loves to hear him moan brokenly into the pillow and drag it out until he’s loose and ready to take Harry in but still tight enough to make Harry see angels. Louis sobs when Harry is finally done plowing him into the sheets, screams and bites whatever is near him if Harry pulls out and presses in unhurriedly. It’s worth the wait, seeing Louis giggle as he tries to catch air, being a general mess from head to toe.)

“Not fair.”

Louis smirks. "You could always even things out."

Harry hauls him down. Louis squeaks a bit as he crashes but he still keeps Harry close to his entrance. Doesn't let him move away even if Harry is pinning him with just the palm of his hand and could flip them over faster than he can blink. "That's just giving you what you want in the first place."

"Maybe I'm just tricking you into something else," he remarks as he places Harry properly between his ass cheeks. Louis uses his position to grind and twist in place, giving Harry the most perfect hell he can think of.

"Wouldn't tell me about it." Harry does his best to not fuck up into the heat, knows it'll be so good once Louis settles and gives him a chance to get the fucking lube. Harry has no choice but to go with it even though there's not enough friction as Louis slides up and down. Frottage would have made him come five seconds ago when he was sixteen but now he's too in love with the feeling of Louis squeezing down on him because Harry is filling him up to the brim. His muscles just flutter around Harry and trap him, trying to take more than what he’s already getting. Thinking about this is not very helpful, actually.

“Is that so?” Louis smirks right when Harry’s dickhead catches in his hole, his whole body shudders as he lets out a barely there cry. “What if this is all part of my evil plan.”

Harry guffaws, surprised. “Yeah. Got it all planned out?”

The reply is a half-hearted murmur, Louis picks up his pace and his fingers trace Harry’s pulsing vein.

Lifting his head up to bite his shoulder, he asks, “Wanna share?”

“Too many questions. Stop it.” Louis sinks his teeth into Harry’s nipple. It stings, he makes sure it’s sharp to prove a point. Louis knows it just reels Harry in more. He’s not going to hold back for long, Harry can feel him buzzing already. One of the many perks of being in tune with Louis’ body

“Fine.” Quickly, Harry swats Louis’ hand and his own dick away, runs his own two fingers over the rim and spreads him a little more, fucks in only until the first knuckle and watches how Louis arches his back and grunts out in frustration because he wanted more. “Like this?”

“No, shit. Harry.” He tries to plunge down but Harry has him locked. Louis does not appreciate it. He bites again, harder this time, looking up at Harry like he just offended him or something. “Didn’t open myself up for this.”

“Really? What did you open yourself up for?” Smiling with dimples just earns him a growl.

“Stop with the fucking questions. Fuck me, ‘m ready.”

Harry tuts. “Can’t rush. Don’t wanna hurt you.” Nudging further in, Harry can feel Louis did a good job, can feel just how ready he truly is, imagines Louis in the bathroom with his ass up in the air and his face pressed on the sink as he tries to be quiet and fuck himself to get Harry in quicker. He kind of wants to honor Louis’ efforts but at the same time he really really loves fingering Louis, could spend entire life times doing it non-stop.

Louis is breathless and clearly done with Harry being like this. “I swear to shit Harry Styles--” A loud yelp rings out through the room as Harry pushes his fingers all the way in. It takes him less than ten seconds to find Louis’ prostate when Louis lifts his torso up with one arm, making him buckle and lower down. Harry focuses intently on his eyes screwing shut and his pretty lips parting to let out even prettier noises. His broad hips circle around Harry, fucking down and up as much as he can but Louis grows tired quickly of just two fingers. He lets Harry know with frustrated whimpers.

"Want me to fuck you baby? 'S that what you need?" Harry taunts just to see Louis stop for a second and lose his pace when he slipsin another finger.

"Yes. Yes, please. Your cock. Need your cock," Louis moans out as his own dick rubs against Harry's. His blown eyes look up at Harry through his eyelashes, and for a moment Harry confuses him for an actual angel (except for the fact that he has three of Harry's fingers up his ass and is begging for his cock). "Love your cock, love when you fuck me, Haz. Please. So good when you fuck me, aren't you? Love it when you fuck me from behind, baby," He mutters distractingly.

 _Fuck._ Louis is going to kill him before he even gets inside him. God knows how Harry has not passed out from just having his hot tight body laying on top of him. "So filthy, Lou, should get the scarf now. Put you on your hands and knees, that's what you wanted from the start, isn't it?"

"Harry." Louis sags as Harry grazes his spot faster, his dick leaking on both of their stomachs and mixing up with Harry's precome.

He takes that as a yes, pats Louis' bum to roll him over on his back and slides out carefully. Louis doesn't seem too happy about that, he actually clenches down on his fingers to keep him in but Harry needs to get some stuff. "Don’t touch yourself, Lou. Can't touch without me. Be patient, wait a little," Harry says before he leave their bed and Louis, using every ounce of strength in his body to not look back because he knows Louis will make the ten steps he has to walk to their closet harder, literally. He's not above whining pitifully or crying out for Harry if he even spares him a glance; he's been fooled many times like that. Louis would ask for a kiss, Harry would give in and linger until Louis' lips provide enough distraction for Harry to lose his self control and fuck Louis roughly, like he always wants it.

It's a miracle he manages to walk to their closet with no injuries from tripping over. It was a good idea to hold the base of his dick firmly as he got to the drawer where he keeps his scarves folded neatly. Harry already knows which one would look lovely covering Louis' mouth. Back in February, Louis claimed that his favorite was the bright blue one with red skulls all over it, said it complimented Harry's skin and made his hair looked beautiful and silky. Then he proceed to tie Harry's wrists together and fucked his mouth. Consequently, Harry is very fond of the silk cloth he's clutching now and is sure it'll reassure him and Louis (but mostly him) once it's tied around or stuffed down Louis mouth.

Taking a deep breath he walks back out with his shoulders squared, ready for whatever it is that Louis needs. He’s determined to make it good and talk about it when it's over. Harry is no fool, he knows they're doing this for a reason. Louis is giving him control because his hands are full and his mind must be driving him up the walls, which is good, a little, since Harry is all about making Louis happy and helping him out and sharing orgasms in the process. It's a nice life.

Louis takes his breath away on a daily basis so that's probably how he's going to die, like right now. Seeing Louis on his knees with his head between their pillows, one of his hands spreading his ass and the other one fucking three fingers into him at a speed that must be cramping Louis’ hand but he _still_ grinds his ass back, meets his own thrusts. The curve of his back looks gorgeous, all bent over with sweat making it glisten from the midday sunlight. His thighs are trembling and his toes are curling and tangling with the sheet that's halfway down the floor, the half empty bottle of lube is right by his leg. He's a fucking work of art. Good thing Harry has enough sense to grip his dick so he doesn't come right then and there. "Louis." Harry somehow finds his voice and talks over the high pitched cries that echo in his ears.

"Harry. Fuck, Harry," Louis gasps out when he connects their eyes. His disheveled hair and pink cheeks almost make Harry moan along with him. "Took you long enough, c'mon."

"Told you to wait," Harry says as he steps closer to the puddle of a boy that looks about three seconds from spilling messily on his tummy.

His fingers don't slow down even if Harry is trying his best to glare at him disapprovingly. Louis shakes his head, pushes his ass up in the air, wiggles for attention. "Can't. Couldn't. You're so slow."

"Maybe I should tie you up instead," Harry replies without emotion. Every muscle in his body is screaming at him to move and give into Louis.

"No. No, no. Gag me. Need you to gag me and fuck me," Louis begs and his fingers finally stop. The wiggling does not. Harry is finding it hard to not eat him out when he looks so delicious already.

"I needed you to stay still but you didn't." Harry surprises them both when his voice doesn't break, stays hoarse and firm. The grip he has on the scarf twitches a bit though.

"Harry, please," Louis keens weakly, like it actually hurts him to say it. "Gag me."

"Don't think that's right, babe. What happens to me when you tell me not to move and I do?"

Louis curses and pulls his fingers out as he notices how serious Harry really is about this. "I spank you," he replies meekly.

 "Yeah, you do. How about I gag you but spank you too? I haven’t spanked in a while, actually. Would that be okay? I think that would be fair, Lou." Harry's hand, the one that was holding his cock, runs over Louis' damp skin from his pink rim to the nape of his neck, reveling in the shudders he provokes, watches the goosebumps his touch leaves behind.

The response he gets is a nod and a gulp from Louis. Harry can work with that.

Harry croons happily, helps Louis rise to his knees and turns him a bit so they're facing each other, the mattress giving Louis the advantage of meeting Harry's eyes. There's a nervous glint there, and it makes something expand in his rib cage. Protectiveness, maybe It makes him wonder how Louis keeps himself in check when it's him taking care of Harry, because right now all he wants to do is gather him in his arms and give him whatever Louis needs of him.

Lifting the scarf up for Louis to see, Harry asks quietly. "This one okay?"

Louis smiles brightly. "Perfect." He leans in for a kiss Harry is glad to give him. "You can always word out, baby. And I can kick your balls if it gets too much."

Harry feels the heaviness of the moment dissipate as both of them laugh. He can't help to kiss him again, softer this time. "Please do."

With a final, mutual nod, Louis opens up his mouth widely, sticks his tongue out and crosses his eyes with a quiet giggle. Harry balls up the scarf in the middle and stuffs it in his mouth, making sure it doesn't trigger Louis' gag reflex. Tries to remember how Louis does it and how he once showed Harry the right way to make knots. The scarf is a little longer than 45 inches,leaves enough cloth to make a nice knot in the front and still wrap around Louis’ head securely. Harry takes a step back to look at him. As soon as he takes in the image, he feels like there's fire running in his bloodstream only for it to stop midway and rush to his feet, feeling floored. He raises his hand to his lips to make sure he's not drooling. Harry drinks in the way the blue of Louis' eyes almost match the blue of the scarf and how the blush that starts on the ink of Louis' chest ends right on top of his sharp cheekbones. If Louis didn't belong by Harry's side where he's the only one allowed to admire him and do much more than that, Harry would make sure he'd be in a proper museum where people would feel faint just by seeing him.

"Good?" Harry says once he gets himself under control and doesn't feel like he needs to get out one of their cock rings.

Louis nods shakily.

"On your hands and knees, then. Just like when I told you to stay still. _No touching._ "

Louis moves gracefully and settles in the middle of their bed, spreads his legs as far as they go without his dick meeting the covers and turns his head to look up at Harry, waiting to be told he did good. He gives a small cry when he can't find a place to put his fidgeting hands.

"The pillow is fine, can't touch anymore, Lou." Harry instructs quietly and takes his time to walk to the other end of the bed, keeping Louis waiting.

When Louis spanks him, he can always fit himself on the bed because he is tiny, but Harry won't be able to do it without flopping down on the carpet and brain himself. So instead of making Louis a widower in the most embarrassing way possible, he takes Louis' ankles and drags him to the edge slowly. Squeezes his plump cheeks for good measure.

Having Louis like this, all open and vulnerable and trusting is a bit scary to be honest. Harry can't even see his face, his erratic breathing is the only thing Harry has to judge and make decisions on. There's so many things Harry can fuck up but the key word here is trust and they've had that since day one. It should be okay, it'll be okay. Hopefully. Harry needs to stop thinking too much and just do it. Right. _Right._

The first strike startles both of them. Louis moans and cries when he doesn't even get a warning but it's all muffled by the scarf. He stretches his little toes. Harry's palm stings and turns bright red from putting more strength in the slap than what he intended. Louis wiggles his ass as the soft pink starts to spread out in contrast with his untouched right cheek. Harry decides he doesn't like that, doesn't like Louis moving too much when he can't even tell if it was good or bad. If they're going to do this he wants Louis as close as he can get him. Frowning, Harry pushes his hair back and tries to think of a way to make it work. Louis used to play him spanking videos all the time until Harry couldn't help but squirm for the rest of the day. Harry's favorites were of pretty boys getting bent over some faceless dude's lap and--oh, yeah maybe that can work.

Harry sits next to Louis with the limit of the bed touching his thighs and speaks up. "C'mon. On my lap, Lou."

Louis rises cautiously and crawls to Harry, searches for his eyes to figure him out but Harry does his best to keep his face neutral, even though most of the time that backfires on him and he ends up looking like a serial killer but, well.

"Belly down, baby." Harry mutters and kisses his lips through the cloth covering them before knocking him down. It's so much better like this when Louis falls on the place Harry wants him. Fits beautifully with his dripping cock rubbing on Harry's thighs and his ass so close Harry feels so tempted to just eat him out instead. Louis fold his arms under his head, the vibrant blue makes his skin look like gold. It's far easier to see his face like this, plus Harry can feel the air battling between leaving and coming into his lungs. Louis drinks in all the attention Harry can't help lavish on him. "So pretty, Lou."

With a clear mind, the first thing Harry does is warm Louis up, squeezing his right cheek hard between both of his hands. He teases his hole with his pinky, just lets it trail around. The subtle motion has Louis asking wordlessly back for more, and that's why Harry gives him two quick swats that fill the silence of the room with pure electricity. Louis hisses and stays still, takes it without protest. That's not what Harry wants.

The only warning Louis gets this time is a pinch on the dimples of his back before Harry slaps his ass four times in a row, each one faster and harder than the last one. He doesn’t allow Louis to recover from the impact and watches transfixed at how his ass jiggles even after Harry stops. The soft pink of his skin returns; it matches the color of Louis' fucked open rim and for a minute Harry forgets how to breathe. Before he notices, his index finger is sinking into the plush heat of Louis and he reacts abruptly, pushing himself up on his forearms to get Harry in deeper. Harry digs his nails into his meaty ass in return and reaches for the lube, pouring more alongside his fingers to make the glide effortless.

"Don't." Harry admoniges. Then he gives Louis three heavy spanks, putting most of his strength in each slap. He feels sweat starting to settle on his forehead but doesn't pull his finger out, screws it in harshly and grasps the tender muscle roughly.

Louis' shoulders are shaking by now, the scarf not doing much to hide his quiet sobs with only half of his face pressed in the bed. Louis’ eyebrows meet in a frown. His eyes are hidden by his lids and there's a bit of drool running down his chin, leaving the shade of blue even darker. Harry's cock is making their skin sticky with the precome he can't stop from dripping-- to be fair Louis is soaking his thighs, too. His muscles are all tense, every single one is locked in, which is not normal because Louis goes slack whenever Harry spanks him, cries and hiccups and begs until Harry soothes him. He's not making much noise either and, yeah, he's gagged, but that really does not do much to stifle anything; it’s why Louis got him the gag ball years ago. This whole thing is rubbing Harry the wrong way.

"Look at me." He says. Louis keeps his eyes on the sheets. Harry spanks him to get his attention and repeats, "Look at me," with a stern voice.

Louis' teary eyes peer up at him, and they don't give away much.

"Are you okay?" Harry asks as he slips in another finger. Louis nods and whines. "Are you sure?" Double-checking never hurt anyone. Two more slaps on Louis' right cheek to keep him focused won't hurt either. Well, not in a bad way. "Really? Don't you want to stop?"

Louis stops mid-groan to roll his eyes. He squirms in the the little space Harry allows, asking for more with the flutter of his wet eyelashes. Good enough, then.

The next ten strikes go fluidly with Harry’s fingers fucking Louis as deep as they can go, the angle helping him hit Louis’ prostate smoothly as he smacks him in a rapid succession. Louis' wails get drowned out by the fifth smack, but he still pushes back when Harry's hand connects with his delicate skin, all red and angry from not getting a break. Harry's ears start ringing when they reach spank number twenty. The sound reminds him of Louis breaking him piece by piece and putting him back together carefully with kisses and praise until Harry feels like they can rule the world. He wants to do the same for Louis, Louis deserves that and so much more.

Harry leans down to kiss his spine, stops everything to concentrate on Louis before he gets too carried away. "You're doing great, Lou." The only noise Harry can pick up is the drumming of his heart and Louis' prolonged whimpers. "Can I take that off now? Wanna hear you."

Louis shakes his head, ruts down against Harry's upper leg.

Harry slaps him five times, quickly, on his right cheek. "Why not?" Two more, the hardest so far. Louis cries out loudly and as soon as it escapes him he turns away. Harry's blood runs cold, he can actually feel it freezing inside him. "Lou. Louis. There is something wrong. What's your color?" Stupid, stupid question. There's a fucking scarf down his throat how the fuck is Louis going to answer that? Harry can't move though, he can't find the strength to do it, too scared of ruining everything. Too scared of ruining _Louis,_ fuck. "Red?" He can barely say it without having a panic attack.

Louis shakes his head again, faster this time. Seems like he realizes Harry is struggling to keep up. He looks back at him, his eyes soft and worried as he accommodates himself on Harry's lap and shoves a thumbs-up to his nose. His other hand holds Harry's hair away from his forehead. It's all too sweet all of the sudden, it's making him dizzy.

Harry pulls out his fingers and folds Louis up to get him as close as possible. "Green, full green?" He questions as he kisses Louis' shoulders reassuringly.

Nodding slowly, Louis allows Harry to cradle him back and forth for a few minutes, feeling both of their hearts settle with one another, get back on the same tune, catch some air.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispers after a while. Why is this affecting him so much? It's not like it's the first time he spanked Louis. "Should I keep going? You want me to keep going?"

Louis sighs through the scarf and pulls back to focus his eyes on Harry. He looks tired all of the sudden, is the thing that Harry notices first, but the heaviness in the blue eyes goes as fast as it came and he doesn’t get a chance tostop it all and do something about it because clearly Louis won’t do it by himself. Before Harry has time to settle down, Louis reaches for the lube next to them and coats Harry’s cock generously. His clever wrist probably knows how to bring Harry to the edge in less than a minute, but Louis tugs him without intent, trying to distract him, or at least that’s what Harry believes until Louis is lining them up and bearing down on his dick swiftly.

Harry groans and it booms in his ears, for a split second Harry worries about leaving both of them deaf but then Louis takes almost half of him in one movement and Harry’s mind goes blank. The need in his body overcomes everything and Harry’s limbs finally do what he wants them to do, his hands fly to halt Louis’ hips and his grinding. “Louis, fuck, what,” This boy is going to be his fucking death, Harry won’t live past his twenties.  “Let me take that thing off.”

Louis grunts and glares at him, his legs loop around Harry’s waist so he can grind down for more but Harry won’t allow it. When Harry uses all of his strength to keep him in place with one arm and untie the scarf, Louis jerks his head away.

A wave of hurt washes over Harry but he shakes it off rapidly as Louis’ eyes widen and he freezes, probably realizing what he did. Harry uses the opportunity to get rid of the scarf, throws it over his shoulder and fixes all of his attention on Louis. He feels like screaming but that doesn’t happen, he can't remember how to do it, so he kisses Louis instead. He just wants to reassure him and tell it’ll be okay, that they need to talk about this because it’s scaring him. The words get stuck in his mouth and won’t roll off of his tongue. The only thing Harry feels capable of doing is kissing him hard, with every word he can’t mutter pouring between their lips in the hopes that Louis understands them, understands _him._ It's just maddening, Harry can't think of a time things got like this; one minute they're all over each other and the next there's a fucking a fucking bridge as long as the Golden Gate between them.

While Louis melts on his lap and Harry sinks deeper into him, he tries to figure out how this happened. He mostly wonders how he let this happen when it was probably obvious if he'd only paid closer attention. Louis is the one who separates their lips. "I'm fucking this up, aren't I?" He says as his forehead rests on Harry's.

"Not as much as I am," Harry replies with the same sad tone. The palm of him hands move to Louis' bum, the skin is heated and sensitive at his touch but he manages to move them quickly without slipping out of Louis. The connection is oddly comforting and Louis seems to think the same when Harry rolls him on his back and presses all of his weight on him.

Louis mewls below him as Harry pushes his cock all the way so slowly and carefully, mindful that they're in the middle of something important here. When Louis notices it was him that made the sound, he starts chewing on his lower lip and closes his eyes, frowning like he wants to take it back, which, oh. Oh.

That's what pushes Harry to his limit. Considering how much he preaches at Louis that patience is a sexy virtue, Harry’s patience leaves him in an exhale and crawls beneath their bed. "Stop that." He mutters and pulls almost all the way out to ram back in Louis, making him gasp and dig his nails into Harry's biceps, right where the ship is etched permanently on him. "Why are you trying to be quiet?"

Louis strings a series of expletives that make no sense as Harry maintains the thrusts with a force he honestly has no idea where it's coming from--maybe pent-up frustration--but it's enough to have Louis tripping over his words. "I- I'm not- Harry. Jesus fuck." His lip goes back to being bitten, cutting off the explanation Harry wants.

Harry leans down to tug it away with his own teeth, stops in the middle of drawing back from Louis just to see him struggle between chasing him or staying still. "Won't move until you tell me what's going on."

"Don't be a fucking--" He doesn't have time to buck up for more of Harry. Louis is seriously underestimating Harry's knowledge if he thinks Harry can't read him like the open book he is when he's at his mercy. Louis complains with a whine he doesn't seem too happy to let out. "Just fuck me."

"Just tell me," Harry argues back.

"Are we seriously fighting in the middle of sex?"

"Are we seriously avoiding what's bothering you?"

Louis looks ready for murder as he regains a bit more of his senses. His dick doesn't falter though, Harry should applaud him that. " _God,_ Harry, you're so fucking... Has it crossed your mindthat maybe I don't feel like talking about it?"

Harry shrugs. He's done playing games he can't understand. "You just gave me the scare of my life no less than ten minutes ago. We're going to talk about this." And just to be a little shit, he wiggles a bit inside Louis, just to remind what's at stake. "You explain. I fuck you. It's simple."

"It's not! You have no idea!" Louis says with defeat tainting his voice.

Harry is afraid his heart might jump out of his chest for the thousandth time in the past four years, every single one of those times because of this boy he loves with every cell in his body, this boy, _his_ boy who thinks Harry wouldn't hijack the Space Shuttle and travel to the moon if Louis asked him to just for the giggles.

"Please, tell me." Louis open his mouth to interrupt him, but Harry can't let that happen "No, no. Louis, just stop. It's not stupid, it's never stupid. Believe it or not, I care. I care so much. Do you honestly think I'd still have my dick in your ass if I didn't?"

Louis chuckles at that, but it's sad, Harry notes. It's not right. "That will change when I tell you."

"Never." Harry kisses every bit of his face he can reach, he has no idea how that can help but he's going to do it anyways.

"I don't like the way I sound. 'S all," Louis says in one breath, going coy as soon as he's done speaking, his eyes casting downwards.

For a moment, Harry can't believe his ears. Or the words Louis just said, even if he can practically see them hanging in the air between them. Harry is not even sure if he listened. He doesn't want to believe them, maybe that's why he's having a hard time coming up with his own words.

"What?"

Louis smiles gloomily, lets go of Harry's arm to tug the small curtain of hair behind his ears, yanking his right ear a little. "You heard me. Keep your part of the deal now."

"No, wait." Harry somehow stops him from switching their positions even with half of his brain reeling for answers. "But why, Louis? It's not like--did I say something? Because if I did you should've just hit me in the balls. And then make the rest of the boys do it too."

"Of course you didn't do anything, baby. I just." Louis sighs and stays still. He's thinking carefully, Harry knows that face and it's killing him. Louis should be able to talk to him no matter what. Even when they went through rough patches and hard times, Louis still talked to him, made sure they were always on the same level.

And Harry couldn't do that for him. Louis has been acting weird for quite some time and Harry just noticed now. "I don't get it. You're always so lo--"

"Loud, yes. I know that. And it's annoying, I know that too." Louis pushes him off, or tries to push him off. He doesn't have enough space to do so and run from him. If Harry has a say in it, he's not going anywhere until they're done. "Move. Do something." Exasperation makes him buzz, he doesn't like feeling caged.

Harry realizes this is going to go nowhere unless it's on Louis' terms. Which pisses him off, _a lot_ , but he'd rather get to the bottom of this before it eats them both up and they lose the chance to do something. "Tell me." Rutting between Louis' cheeks, he gets him to crack because he's getting what he wants and he's crying out, always so responsive to Harry, but then he tries to cover his mouth his forearm. It shocks Harry. "No," he growls and wrenches Louis' arm back, pins it next to his head without stopping his thrusts. If anything they turn a bit more forceful. "Talk."

"Please," Louis sobs out, his eyes shying away from Harry's.

Harry is tired of playing nice. "Fine." He withdraws briskly from Louis, sits back on his haunches and takes the scarf again. "We're doing it my way now." Harry takes Louis' wrists in one hand and ties them together with the silky smooth scarf so he can't move much. Tying the knot exactly how Louis does it when it's him who he wants to keep trapped. Harry can feel Louis' pulse matching the beating of his own heart.

Louis squirms the entire time but noteven a peep slips past his lips. He's a complete wreck, his breathing is all erratic and the tattoos on his arm are standing in stark contrast with their white headboard. His hair seems like an accidental work of art and his lips are as red as the blush staining his chest. His belly is a mess, a mix of their precome making him as wet as his hole is from what Harry can see. He wants to devour Louis.

He opens Louis' legs wide and settles down on his stomach, nuzzles the back of Louis' thighs with his nose. "You're going to tell me how it feels," Harry speaks in a low voice. "Or you can't come." And with that he plunges down on Louis' rim. There's no teasing, Harry sinks his tongue in harshly and makes a show of eating him out just the way it drives Louis mad. He nips the stretched out skin as he clasps the base of Louis' dick snugly. Louis starts trembling right away. Although his bum is his biggest asset, it's also his biggest weakness, and Harry's mouth is an expert when it comes to breaking Louis. He could cry from overstimulation but still he wouldn't ask Harry to stop because he knows it doesn't get better than that, knows Harry can make him come dry if he really wants to. Louis' breaths pick up their pace but he doesn'tuttera word.

With every swirl of his tongue Harry can taste himself in Louis along with the vanilla flavored lube they so wisely invested in. He doesn't let himself get too carried away; he meant what he said earlier. "Lou, you like it when I fuck your ass with my tongue, don't you?" Harry peers up so Louis can see how his chin and nose are all smeared with spit.

Louis finally breaks and wails out a yes that seems to last years. He bears down on Harry's face, rubs up and down trying to get his mouth back. What he gets instead is Harry sucking a mark on his sore ass.

"What else?" Harry taunts.

A wounded sound leaves Louis. "Amazing. Always. You're always amazing."

"Yeah? How much do you want it?" he whispers and pokes his entrance with little licks that have Louis fighting against his restraints.

"Bad, so bad. Baby, I want it so much. Please," He adds as an afterthought, as if being polite is going to make Harry give into him.

Actually yeah, Harry really likes it when Louis begs. He only does it when he's desperate to please Harry, usually when he's so out of it and doesn't know what else to do to make Harry listen. It thrills Harry without fail, knowing no one else will get to have Louis begging underneath them because Harry's everything he could ever need. No one will ever know him as well as Harry to even try and get past all the layers where Louis hides himself.

"Got a better idea," He says, a sly grin settling on the corner of his lips. He lubes up again, very aware they won't last long as they're already drunk on each other but his whole body is shaking, craving for Louis to be wrapped tightly around him. Harry can't imagine the day he could possibly get enough of Louis, much less now that he has him burning up for just a touch.

Louis licks his lips, plants his feet on the mattress to gain leverage and presents himself to Harry. He's dripping wet from head to toe; his hair is all sticky from sweat, his tummy glistens as he squirms around and catches the midday sunlight bathing their room. His ass and thighs are dampening the sheets and his rim is clenching on thin air, hungry for Harry's cock fucking him until his legs go numb and he forgets how to walk.

Right now though, Harry's the one forgetting how to breathe. The only thing he seems to remember is how to throw Louis' legs over his shoulders and slide into him perfectly, his hips finding the angle to nail Louis' prostate relentlessly . It is nearly second nature to him by now. Their bodies sync up right away on a rhythm that has them panting for more. They don't waste a single second to push each other's buttons; Louis squeezes hard on Harry and Harry plows Louis with short powerful thrusts.

"Say it," Harry wheezes, his throaty voice sounds strange to his ears when it interrupts the humming of their moans and anchors him back to reality.

"Say what?" Louis rasps out just as Harry drives into him particularly sharply, jolting his arched body and the headboard.

"Tell me how--Christ --how it feels. Need to hear you," he hisses.

"Full. On fire. Like 'm gonna split," Louis replies quickly and he earns Harry shoving him further up the bed when he changes the pace to faster instead of harder.

Harry drops to his forearms, grips Louis' chin so he can whisper directly into his ear, nibbling right behind it because Louis is sensitive there no matter what, especially if Harry's hot breathing tickles the spot. "You love it. You're going to come on my cock, yeah? All you need is my cock." It's a statement more than a question, but Louis still nods fervently. Seriously, how could Harry possibly not give him everything that he wants?

Harry changes his speed as he adjust Louis' legs and grasps his hips to stop the slapping of their skin, slowing them down to kiss Louis despite their shortness of breath. Louis meets his lips and thrusts his tongue back eagerly. Harry loses himself in the way their bodies work together to get the other off, knowing exactly what the other needs and wants and how to do it best.

He pulls out slowly and shoves back in with all of his strength, three times before Louis loses it, his cock, all red and slippery, spills everywhere between; all the way to Louis' collarbones and Harry's butterfly tattoo. His little body goes tense and his muscles lock, so really, Harry has no other option but to come messily inside him with a final thrust. Both of them come for the longest time, Harry can feel his nerves tingling as they try to calm down but Louis keeps twitching and moaning from overstimulation, chanting brokenly _toomuchtoomuchplease_ until Harry pulls out and flops on top of him.

"You're killing me," he whispers tiredly once Harry gets rid of the scarf and kisses his wrists.

Harry rolls them over so Louis is the one fitting in his side, clinging to him and letting him use his chest as a pillow because he can't bear the thought of not touching him right now. "Same." His eyes close to allow the illusion of peace seep into his bones.

"Everything is gross and sticky," Louis grumbles but cuddles closer to him. There's no reply, Harry is trying to let all of what just happened sink in and Louis knows that. "You're going to make me talk about it?"

Harry nods silently, looking down at his wrecked frame.

"Can we at least shower first? Your come is running down my thighs," heasks and looks up at him with nervous eyes.

Harry can only smile and tell Louis how much he loves him before his throat closes up and his eyes well up.

***

He eats Louis out again in the shower, just for cleaning purposes, really. And maybe to calm both of them down after the little cry they had. Harry leaves him to dry up by himself with a kiss on his temple so he can start up the tea. He decides he’s too tired to cook, he'll have to call the new greek restaurant that Louis has been dying to try out since they opened up. Harry attempts to get busy and give Louis some space since they really don't need another fight. He's too concentrated on scrubbing an imaginary stain on their kitchen island to notice Louis walking up behind him until his sweater covered arms sneak on Harry's stomach and his lips press up on Harry's bare shoulder, where the small wobbly guitar tattoois.

"Your wrists okay?" This is probably the fifth time Harry asks.

Louis nods anyways. "Bum too. A bit sore, but I'll survive."

Harry chuckles. "Good. You can't leave me here to be a widow when we're not even married yet."

"I'd never, Haz." He says solemnly and climbs up the counter, taking the sponge Harry was using to dunk it in the sink, looking at him expectantly.

Sighing, Harry finds his place between Louis' thighs and tries to give him a genuine smile but he's too worried and Louis sees right through it.

Louis sighs too. They do that a lot when something is bothering them. "Listen, I know I fucked up. I should've just talked to you but you were going to be all Harry about it and I guess I knew you'd be right so I didn't say anything."

"All Harry about it?" He can't help but laugh a little bit. He just wants to put this behind them and kiss Louis' face off.

Louis gives him a tentative grin. "Yeah. With your face doing the thing and everything."

"Well, Lou. You do get why I'm upset, right? I know thisdidn’tcome from nowhere. You don't let silly things get to you like that, like this, unless it's really important."

Louis' mouth twists. "It's not. It's not a big deal, it's always been there, I just. Pushed it back, I pushed it back and then it came back to bite my ass when Liam and I were in the recording booth like a week ago."

That's... Harry is getting confused. "What do you mean?"

"We had the demo down for a song Liam wrote and he really wanted to hear it. So we played it back and I murdered it." Louis explains, shifting his fingers on his lap. He's blushing and for the first time in ages, Harry doesn't like it. "Sounded like a dying kitten. All squeaky and horrible."

"I really doubt that, Lou. You know your voice is great." Harry is quick to reassure him. "We've told you, nothing will ever sound right without you. _I_ wouldn't sound right without you."

"Harry-"

Shaking his head, Harry makes sure his voice is earnest before talking. "No, hear me out, alright. Your voice and every little sound you make is my favorite thing in this world. Your moans and how you laugh and the way you speak, I'm in love with all of them. You're always scolding us when we put ourselves down and you don't even realize that's exactly what you do, too. Lou, I really wish you could see how amazing you are."

A small smile lightens up Louis' face. "You have to say that. You're stuck with me forever."

Harry leans forward to kiss him. "And I wouldn't have it any other way. But honestly, stop thinking you're not good enough. You've written two incredible albums and there's not a person in this world that could singthose songs better than you. Understood?" Harry ends his rant with another kiss that will hopefully leave Louis breathless so he doesn't argue back.

Louis rolls his eyes, ready to insist again but Harry narrows his eyes at him and that seems to stop him. "Okay, understood. Thank you for earlier, and I'm sorry if I scared you. I really wasn't planning on that."

"Just talk to me before doing anything drastic. It won't kill you, I promise. And I love you. So much."

Louis' eyes shine brightly. "I love you too."

***

Harry makes Louis play the demo when they visit the studio again. It's everything but dying kittens. More like the most wonderful creature on earth singing about the love of his life. They end up having sex in the booth and recording the whole thing so Louis won't forget that there's nothing wrong with being loud.  


**Author's Note:**

> sorry about that, this is my [tumblr](http://somedayitscoming.tumblr.com), come and yeall at me there if you want to. thank you for reading! hope u have a great day :)


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